After personally witnessing what Heather describes as “the
most difficult labor of the five,” I have been reflecting on a subject that has
honestly perplexed me over the years: pain
and suffering. In the
weeks leading up to the birth of our new baby girl, Josie Grace, our two main
prayers were for (1) a healthy baby and (2) a quick and relatively easy labor
and delivery. With the myriad of potential problems that
could possibly occur during pregnancy and delivery, we were so thankful for the
answer to prayer #1. But prayer #2 was a
different story, as in the end, the labor was certainly not quick, nor easy. Heather pre-decided that this birth would be
completely “natural” (or un-medicated as it is described in 2013), not because
Heather has some amazing pain tolerance (her words) but because of a previous
complication from an epidural when Emma was born. In her mind, the pain experienced during
child birth was nothing compared to a week-long spinal headache from a botched
epidural. Levi was also born “naturally”
but his labor and delivery were within a few hours of arrival at the hospital. So we were figuring little Josie Grace would
come in the same way.
Heather was admitted to the hospital the afternoon of the 13th
with fairly regular, but light contractions.
After several hours, we decided with the midwife that it would be best
to “break her water” to hasten the process.
Shortly thereafter, hard labor began, and Heather spent almost the
entire night laboring in the shower, with contractions coming fast and
hard. At 6am, exhausted, the midwife
suggested that Heather get in bed so that she might check her progress, and we
were distraught to discover that after all that work, she was only 3cm
dilated. “I can’t do this any longer,”
Heather whispered, clearly discouraged at the slow progress. “God help her,” I thought as I had her roll
onto her side to continue this trial of labor.
What happened next was quite amazing.
Hooked to the monitor, I was able to see the baby’s heart rate and the
onset, strength and duration of each contraction. Lying on her side, the contractions became
widely spaced (approx. 8-10 minutes apart) which allowed Heather to sleep
soundly during each interim. When each
contraction came, however, Heather would abruptly awaken and work, with
difficulty, through each extremely long and hard episode while I rubbed her back and helped her breathe. This
continued for the next 5 long hours, and what I thought was a slowing of the process
with widely spaced contractions, was actually God allowing Heather to rest and
prepare for the last “final push.”
When the time for pushing began, we discovered that the
reason the labor had been so long (aside from the fact that she was the biggest
baby Heather had delivered), was because Josie’s head was turned 180 degrees. As such, pushing was no easy task either, and
after what seemed like an eternity, Josie finally arrived, almost 24 hours after admission, with a massive
cone-shaped head from being squeezed through a disproportionately small space. As the midwife placed Josie on Heather’s
chest, her face radiated sheer relief and joy. “You did it!” I exclaimed, personally trying
to hold back my own tears of joy and relief.
As I reflect on this incredible and almost surreal
experience, what impresses me is the fact that God did not answer prayer #2 in
the way I thought He should have. He did
NOT deliver Heather from suffering,
but delivered her through it. He did not lessen the pain, make it go away, or
even shorten it. It was all there in its
full, visceral, unbelievable “glory.” But
God did provide the help she needed, when she needed it, so that she might persevere until the task was complete. And the relief and joy that resulted was indescribable. The analogy to our spiritual lives is
striking. God never promised to shelter
us from trials, suffering or pain (contrary to the teaching of many
well-meaning, but incorrect Christians).
In fact, Jesus communicated clearly and with absolute certainty that pain
would come, and that when it did, it would not be easy. So where then is our hope in the center of our
pain? Only one place...Jesus. After all, he had his body scourged,
his beard plucked, a crown of sharp thorns crushed on his head, and his hand
and feet nailed through to a cross, not to mention being betrayed, ridiculed and
abandoned. And somehow, I don’t think
that He was shielded from any bit of that unimaginable pain. But He persevered through it, overcame, and
arose to utter and complete joy. Jesus, God in the flesh,
overcame, and as we put our hope and trust in Him, so will we, and thus, experience
that same intense joy that can only come through
suffering. We may not understand
it, but we can have the faith to believe God at his Word, that He will cause us
to persevere, that (somehow) there is purpose in the pain, and that the end
result will be joy unspeakable.
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